My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
