So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Randomize
