you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Well I just put wine in my tea
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize