But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
my poor anus
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
