i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
