Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
