I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She's the barista slut.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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