i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I could have mohawked her pubes.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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