so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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