Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
