Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
