Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
