Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
