I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
