scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
