You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
