I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
