your thong is hanging out like whoa
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
