Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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