Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
