Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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