I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
