my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
