I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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