if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
