That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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