It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
