Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
false alarm. still invincible.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize