The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
