I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
