Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
