Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Randomize
