he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
