You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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