he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
