Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
