I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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