I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
