Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
