your parents love me but you hate me
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
