Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize