Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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