You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize