He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
