Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
two words: eviction party
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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