Welp...herpes.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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