My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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