Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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