i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Can I color on your dick again?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
