I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
