the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I will be naked everywhere
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
