hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
