I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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