I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
