you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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