walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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