who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
