I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
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