i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
me + whiskey = a bad person
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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