I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
