K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
