I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
