nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
